My friends tell me that I am very good at persuading people in social situations. Here are a few of my top tips that will help you become more influential during face to face conversations.

TIP 1Start the conversation by sharing something positive that has happened in your life recently – If you don’t have any positive stories to share than I advise you to start the conversation by telling the person you’re talking to that “you are happy to see them” and follow this up by asking them a question. It is crucial to show an interest in other people’s interests.

TIP 2Appeal to the desires and goals of other people – There was a girl I had classes with at university who I wanted to become friends with. So I sat next to her and after introducing myself I said to her “I’m going through a phase in my life where I no longer want to be around negative people and I only want to be around positive people”. She and her friend responded very enthusiastically to my statement by saying “OMG that’s the same as us! We only want to be around positive people too”. For the next 5 minutes these two girls rambled on about all these people who they have cut ties with in recent months. I gave these girls an exceptionally good first impression that day!

TIP 3Avoid talking about the weather – A lot of people begin a conversation by talking about the weather. I find it generic, tacky and uninspiring. I have two eyes and I can see that it’s sunny or overcast I don’t need someone else to tell me what I can already see… Tell me something I don’t know…

TIP 4Avoid using the phase “believe me”– When you say the phase “believe me” it creates an opportunity in the listeners mind to question whether or not you are being honest about what you are saying. When you say “believe me” the listener often unconsciously thinks to themselves “why should I believe you?”

TIP 5Avoid using the phase “you know”– Whenever I hear someone using this phase they instantly lose credibility in my mind. Saying “and you know” actually doesn’t make sense because “actually I don’t know because you’re the one who is telling me the story, you are one who is trying to inform me with new bits of information”. Saying “you know” indicates that you don’t feel confident about what you are saying.


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BJ Connolly – Comedian

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